Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Here's a TV show I could get behind.

The only story I'm going to be interested in concerning Kate and Jon is when TLC broadcasts Plus Eight hack their self absorbed parents to death LIVE on TV.

I read about the series of these 'Pre Made trailers' - they're very clever.

I'll post another one tomorrow.

Here's another laugh for your morning

Today in History:
September 30, 1452 -
It's the anniversary of the printing of the Gutenberg Bible in Mainz, Germany on this date. It was the first book ever printed with movable type. What made Gutenberg's invention revolutionary was not that it allowed you to print letters on paper, but that you could print an infinite number of different pages from a small number of letter blocks simply by rearranging them.

The first section of the Bible came out on this day. He printed 180 copies on expensive Italian paper. It was designed to be used for public reading in the dining halls of monasteries. But within three decades there were print shops all over Europe, and Gutenberg's invention launched a revolution in education.

Today about four dozen copies of the Gutenberg Bible survive. One of the most recent copies to come on the market was auctioned in New York in 1987 and sold for more than $5 million.

September 30, 1630 -
Pilgrim John Billington, who arrived on the Mayflower, is hanged at Plymouth for killing John Newcomen with a musket. Billington is the first Englishman executed in New England.

September 30, 1927 -
Babe Ruth hit his 60th home run of the season,on this day.

(Mark McGwire was born on October 1, 1963, however, so this no longer matters. Although, the Bambino was only hopped up on booze.)

September 30, 1938 -
The Germans occupied the Sudetenland in late summer of 1938. This enraged the British and the English, who both feared for the loss of the Sudetenland's celebrated pea crops.

British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain flew to Germany to meet Hitler at Bertesgaden to discuss the situation, on this date.

Hitler assured him that there would be plenty of peas to go around, and Chamberlain returned to England with the famous proclamation of Peas in Our Time. World War II was therefore avoided and did not break out until some time later.

September 30, 1955 -
Teen idol James Dean was killed in a car accident that probably could have been avoided if he had had his car inspected and tuned up regularly, obeyed all posted highway signs, and driven only when alert and sober

(Remember kids, if you are going to drink til you drop, drop where you drink), on this date.

On the other hand, if he had survived, today James Dean would probably be tottering aimlessly around celebrity golf tournaments, pimping life insurance or antacids, and writing tell-all memoirs.

September 30, 1960 -
The first prime-time animated series aimed at adults, The Flintstones, premiered on ABC-TV on this date.

The Flintstones was the first American animated show to depict two people of the opposite sex sleeping together in one bed. You can no longer even mention in polite society, the cartoon from the 50's that showed two characters of the same sex sharing a bed (vegetable shortening, farm animals and marital aids were involved.)

September 30, 1982 -
Cheers, the comedy television series that ran eleven seasons from 1982 to 1993, premiered on this date. It was produced by Charles-Burrows-Charles Productions in association with Paramount Television for NBC, having been created by the team of James Burrows, Glen Charles, and Les Charles. It was nearly canceled during its first season when it ranked dead last in ratings.

However, Cheers eventually became a highly rated television show in the United States, earning a top-ten rating during eight of its eleven seasons, including one season at #1, and spending the bulk of its run on NBC's "Must See Thursday" lineup.

And so it goes.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

This gave me a laugh this morning

Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking getting down

Never let it be said that death got in the way, their album will be coming out soon : )

Today's word of the day - Medioxumate: adjective, of gods of intermediate rank between those of heaven and of hell. Todd never aimed high. He even prayed to a medioxumate deity - Corzu, god of untenured professors.

Today in History -
September 29, 1399 -
Richard II was deposed, on this date,which only served him right for having posed in the first place. He was succeeded by Henry IV part I.

So, for God's sake, let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings...

September 29, 1513 -
Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa discovered the Pacific Ocean, on this date.

How something that covers roughly a third of the earth's surface could have been lost for so long is a question that stumps historians to this day.

It's Miguel de Cervantes's birthday. Born in 1547, Cervantes is best known as the author of Don Quixote, a cunning satire on mental illness. The work is an epic treatment of the perennial question, "wouldn't the world be better off if we were all crazy?"

The answer from the novel is a qualified yes: the story supports the premise, but its length and lucidity suggest that the author himself was not crazy, which contradicts the premise.

Ever since the publication of Don Quixote, the idea of improving through world through mental illness has taken root in the popular culture of the west. From the good soldier Svjek and Prince Myshkin to Chauncy Gardener, Elwood P. Dowd, and Forrest Gump, western readers and filmgoers have a galaxy of benevolent lunatics to show them the way to a better, purer existence. Grand mal seizures, delirium tremens, and hallucinations are merely the price of admission to their wistful world of blissful ignorance.

The sane and hard-working do not come off nearly so well in film or literature. In fact, sane and hard-working people seldom even appear in film or literature. No one wants to read about them, or spend good money to watch them go about their plodding lives, because most of us are surrounded by sane and hard-working people already and know what they're like—they're just like us, only less so.

Early to bed and early to rise may make a man healthy, and wealthy, and wise, but it won't do a goddam thing for his Nielsens. In fact, if you're healthy, wealthy, wise, and well-rested, you're only going to piss the rest of us off. Lighten up, slack off, drink up, and spend plenty of quality time with imaginary friends.

That's the real road to happiness—or at least our acceptance, without which you have no right to be happy.

September 29, 1955 -
The only film Charles Laughton directed, The Night of the Hunter opened in New York City on this date.

Charles Laughton had no great love for children and so despised directing them in this film that Robert Mitchum found himself directing the children in several scenes.

September 29, 1957 -
An explosion at the Chelyabinsk-40 complex, a Soviet nuclear fuel processing plant, irradiates the nearby city of Kyshtym with strontium-90, cesium-137, and plutonium.

This accident releases twice the radioactivity of the Chernobyl incident.

September 29, 1976 -
At his birthday party, musician Jerry Lee Lewis accidentally shoots his bass player Norman Owens twice in the chest, trying to open a soft drink bottle with a .357 magnum. Owens survives and files a lawsuit.

Now don't you wish you were at that party !!!

September 29, 1989 -
Zsa Zsa Gabor, a person famous for no apparent reason and with no visible means of support (It's too weird to think that Zsa Zsa was once Paris Hilton's step-grandmother), is convicted of slapping a Beverly Hills police officer.

Gabor later complains that she was denied a jury of her peers, saying "It was not my class of people, There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor."

And so it goes.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last?

I know you've seen this clip over and over again, literally but it's gotten me to think - does Mr. Delay have no loved ones? Was there no one to beg him not to do this or it would force them to take the gas pipe?

Or perhaps this was a complicated plea deal with the government to inflict the maximum amount of humiliation upon him allowing his to escape jail time?

Today's word of the day is Deartuate: verb, to dismember. Vito could not pay his vig. The Scungelli brothers deartuated his body and then disposed of body parts at various animal crematoriums around Greater Philadelphia.

Today in History -
British history began on September 28, 1066, with the Norman invasion of England. The Normans were a group of Franks who'd grown weary of being so Frank. Their decision to become Normans cost them their Frankness, so they joined together and invaded England under the leadership of William (or, in Norman, "Norman") the Conqueror.

Prior to this invasion, Britain had been occupied mostly by Angles, Saxons, and large stones, who had never properly appreciated cricket, fog, or Kipling and had therefore been unable to invent England. William (Norman) the Conqueror realized that, if it was ever going to amount to anything, what England really needed was a Great King, preferably someone very much like himself.

Appropriate arrangements were made.

September 28, 1850 -
The United States Navy abolishes the practice of flogging. Among the crimes for which this was the penalty are: stealing poultry from the coop (12 lashes), being lousy (6), stealing a wig (12), and being naked on the spar deck (9).

This reform is perhaps the signature moment in Millard Filmore's presidency.

It's the birthday of Ed Sullivan, born in New York City (1902). He was writing a gossip column for the New York Daily News called "Little Old New York," moonlighting now and then as a master of ceremonies at variety shows and benefits. He was emceeing a dance contest when somebody asked him if he'd like to try hosting a show on this new thing called television.

The Ed Sullivan Show premiered live on CBS in 1948, and within a few years about 50 million people watched it every Sunday night. It was like vaudeville. It had opera singers, ventriloquists and magicians and pandas on roller skates and big stars. Ed Sullivan said, "Open big, have a good comedy act, put in something for children, and keep the show clean."

He was a shy, awkward man, but he loved performers. He personally chose every guest for his show. He was one of the first hosts to invite black performers, including Jackie Robinson, Duke Ellington, Richard Pryor, and James Brown.

Ed Sullivan: the last television host who tried to appeal to everyone in America.

September 28, 1920 -
A Cook County grand jury indicts the Black Sox 8 -- the White Sox players paid to throw the 1919 World Series to the Cincinnati Reds.

Even though they are found not guilty, Commissioner Landis bans them all from professional baseball for life.

September 28, 1978 -
A nun at the Vatican discovers the lifeless body of Pope John Paul I, formerly Albino Luciani, in bed. The pontiff had been on the job only 33 days before unexpectedly dying in his sleep, after having taken some sort of pills with dinner.

The church refuses to grant an autopsy.

See Godfather III for further explanations.

September 28, 1989 -
Former Philippine president Ferdinand Marcos dies in Waikiki, Hawaii, after three years in exile. He was in ill health, and awaiting US charges on looting funds from his country.

His wife keeps the cadaver in a refrigerated coffin for years.

And so it goes

Sunday, September 27, 2009


Don’t trust anyone you meet online.

Educate your child about Cthulhu today.

Today's word is Vacivity: noun, emptiness. The vacivity of Glenn Beck's skull is impression. Small children could crawl in and take a cozy nap in his head.

September 27, 1975 -
The documentary film by Albert and David Maysles, Grey Gardens, premiered in the New York Film Festival on this date.

You'll never think about that old lady apartment smell the same way after seeing this movie.

Today in History:
September 27, 1951 -
Marvin Lee Aday, singer songwriter was born on this date.

Today is the 104 year anniversary of the publication of Albert Einstein's paper "Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?", introducing the equation E=MC2.

Before this E equaled just about anything you wanted it to equal. Just think what the atomic bomb would have been like if E = banana peels or dog turds.

September 27, 1854 -
The wooden steamship Arctic sinks in foggy weather after colliding with the iron bow of the Vesta. When Captain Luce orders women and children into the lifeboats, the crewmen rebel and take the boats for themselves.

Of 435 on board, only 85 survive -- and none of them women or children. It is the first major ocean liner disaster in the Atlantic. The "Artic" disaster shattered high Victorian notions of how men were supposed to respond under duress.

September 27, 1972 -
Gwyneth Paltrow, actress and enema enthusiast was born on this date.


September 27, 1954 -
The nationwide debut of Tonight! (The Tonight Show) hosted by Steve Allen on NBC.

Bedtime was never the same.

September 27, 1959 -
Typhoon Vera, otherwise known as the Isewan Typhoon, kills 4,464 people on the Japanese island of Honshu and injures 40,000 more. 1.5 million are made homeless.

September 27, 1964 -

The Warren Commission issued its final report,

concluding that president Kennedy had been assassinated and was probably dead.

And so it goes.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

What I've learned.

I guess I watch too much TV and read too many newspaper (and surf the web way too much.)

So far I've learned:

How to make crack cocaine.
How to correctly ventilate my home meth lab
How to make a trigger for a Thermo-nuclear device (don't ask, I'm in enough trouble at home over this.)
How to make backpack bombs (thanks to the New York Post yesterday.)

It has been suggested (screamed at me) that I could better spend my time finding out how to get a higher paying job.

Today's word is Molrowing: noun, carousing with prostitutes. Let's see if we can combined the words we have saved so far -

Gov. Spitzer decided to visit a local oporopolist while in Washington DC to supplement his intake of natural Vitamin C. While on his way there, he remembered he had an assignation with Ashley Dupré for a bit of molrowing with involved the lambitions of her thighs, which, of course, was an extra charge.

Today in History
September 26, 1895 -
George Raft was an American film actor who was most closely identified with his portrayals of gangsters in crime melodramas of the 1930s and 1940s, was born on this date. George may have achieved an unenviable place in Hollywood folklore as the actor who turned down some of the best roles in screen history, most notably High Sierra, The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca and Double Indemnity.

What a dummy.

September 26, 1580 -
Francis Drake returned to Plymouth, England, ending a three-and-a-half year journey around the world,on this date.

It was nearly four more centuries, however, before "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS (on this day in 1962).

The lengthy lapse between these watershed events has never been explained.

September 26, 1687 -
Troops laying siege to Athens led by Venetian general Francesco Morosini rain cannon fire down on the Acropolis and the Turkish soldiers garrisoned inside. One cannonball penetrates the Parthenon, which happened to serve as the Turks' gunpowder magazine.

The roof, walls, and 16 columns are blown off by the resulting explosion.

Oops, sh*t happens.

September 26, 1937 -
The Empress of the Blues, Bessie Smith, sustains grave injuries in a traffic accident on US Highway 61. She is taken to a colored hospital in Clarksdale, Mississippi and her arm amputated. Smith dies later that day from blood loss.

According to legend, Bessie had been refused treatment by a closer, whites-only hospital.

September 26, 1960 -
Kennedy and Nixon face off in the first televised presidential debate. Nixon had been recuperating from illness yet refused to wear makeup for the camera, looking haggard and gray.

Radio viewers gave positive opinions for Nixon's performance but so many people saw the debate televised that Kennedy gained the lead in the polls, ultimately winning the election.

Remember what I said about Checkers, his kids' dog.

September 26, 1969 -
Beatles release the Abbey Road album in London, on this date.

Though work on Abbey Road began in April 1969, making it the final album recorded by the band, Let It Be was the last album released before the Beatles' dissolution in 1970.

September 26, 1969 -
An unsuspecting American public is forced to deal with the vaguely incestuous family comedy series 'The Brady Bunch' which premiered on ABC-TV on this date.

I don't even want to talk about the relationship between Alice, Sam the butcher and Tiger.

And so it goes

Friday, September 25, 2009

It's Hug a Vegetarian Day

The last Friday in September is dedicated to International Hug a Vegetarian/Vegan Day. This year that day falls on Friday, September 25, 2009.

I prefer the less well know holiday, 'Do it doggie style with an Omnivore Day'.

(Kids, Trent is going to say some naughty words and a naked lady is going to appear in this video. Ask your parents if you're allowed to watch. Oh yea, there's some images of a crucified monkey but otherwise it's family friendly.)

Today's word - Lambition: verb, the act of licking or lapping

During the sweltering summer, the children could often be found busy in their lambitions of their ice cream cones.

September 25, 1943 -
The music goes around and around and it comes out here - A Corny Concerto is released on this date.

The only cartoon in which Porky Pig hunts Bugs Bunny (not counting Porky's Hare Hunt (1938), the first cartoon to feature the rabbit character eventually known as Bugs).

Here's your Today in History -

On this day in 1789 Congress proposed twelve amendments to the Constitution of the United States. Habeas Corpus Christi and Freedom from Unreasonably Surging Seashores were ultimately rejected but the other ten passed and have come to be known as the "Bill of Rights."

In honor of this important anniversary, I have chosen to celebrate my favorite amendment, in the hopes that it may also soon be yours. I am speaking of the Ninth Amendment.

Like that of Beethoven, the Constitution's Ninth is the standard against which all others must be measured. Unlike Beethoven's, it doesn't climax with a resounding choral tribute to Joy (but that could be fixed).

Here is the ninth amendment: "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."

This important amendment should not be neglected just because of some awkwardly placed commas.

Under the first amendment, for example, I have been given the right to say any stupid thing that pops into my head. (This should not be confused with the responsibility of doing so, which is reserved to journalists. Glenn Beck seems confused about this.) This is an enumerated right. My right not to have to listen to anyone else's idiotic opinion is not enumerated, but it's just as important.

In the second amendment, in order to preserve peace and order in the state, I have been granted the right to stockpile dangerous weapons. Unenumerated but no less important is my right not to be caught in the crossfire while you fire off a couple of clips at a Sunday School picnic. (The NRA generally seems to have missed this subtle point.)

Under the eighth amendment, I have the right not to be drawn and quartered, boiled in pitch, burned at the stake, or belittled by a British producer on national television. But this does not overrule my right to be entertained.

Let us all take a moment to give thanks to the Ninth Amendment, which preserves us not only from the tyranny of government, but the far more dangerous tyranny of one another.

September 25, 1890 -
The "1890 Manifesto", sometimes simply called "The Manifesto", is a statement which officially ceased the practice of plural marriage in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).

Announced by church president Wilford Woodruff in this date, the Manifesto was a dramatic turning point in the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as many of the church leaders are finally able to sleep with both eyes closed.

September 25, 1919 -
President Wilson became seriously ill and collapsed after a speech. The cause of his incapacitation was the physical strain of the demanding public speaking tour he undertook to obtain support of the American people for ratification of the Covenant of the League. After one of his final speeches to attempt to promote the League of Nations in Pueblo, Colorado, on this date, he collapsed. On October 2, 1919, Wilson suffered a serious stroke that almost totally incapacitated him, leaving him paralyzed on his left side and blind in his left eye. For at least a few months, he was confined to a wheelchair. Afterwards, he could walk only with the assistance of a cane. The full extent of his disability was kept from the public until after his death on February 3, 1924.

Remarkably, Wilson was, with few exceptions, kept out of the presence of Vice President Thomas R. Marshall, his cabinet or Congressional visitors to the White House for the remainder of his presidential term. His second wife, Edith, would continually tell people for the next five years that the President was in the bathroom and couldn't be disturbed. This was, as of 2008, the most serious case of presidential disability in American history and was later cited as a key example why ratification of the 25th Amendment and a large supply of TP at the White House was seen as important.

September 25, 1980 -
John Bonham, drummer for the seminal rock band, Led Zeppelin, actually did choke to death in his sleep on a regurgitated ham sandwich on this date.

The coroner's report concludes that it was his own vomit and no one else's.

And so it goes

Thursday, September 24, 2009

It's hard to believe

but Nirvana's album 'Nevermind' was released on this date in 1991.

Once again we are all getting old. (but what exaltly does 'Teen Spirit' smell like?)

September 24, 1938 -
This cartoon set the bar for outlandishness in animation - Porky in Wackyland was released on this date.

Watch it a few times to really get everything that's going on in this one.

September 24, 1945 -
Sometimes mislabelled as a 'women's picture', Mildred Pierce, a tense film noir, was released on this date.

Michael Curtiz was initially less than keen at working with "has-been" star Joan Crawford (whose career had been on a downturn from a string of flops) as she had a reputation for being difficult. Curtiz was soon won over by Crawford's dedication and hard work.

I saw a great site It wants it's readers to rediscover words that have fallen out of fashion.

So my word for the day is Oporopolist: noun, a fruit seller.

I must pop down to my local oporopolist before scurvy sets in.

Today in History
September 24, 1896 -
"Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us.

It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning -

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

On this date in 1896, a young Minnesota woman gave birth to a depressive young alcoholic named Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald. The boy did badly in school and went to train for war in 1918. While training at Camp Sheridan in Alabama, he fell in love with Zelda Sayre, the mentally unstable daughter of an Alabama Supreme Court judge. The war ended before Fitzgerald could be sent overseas and shot, however, so he went to New York to become rich and famous.

He became neither, so Zelda broke off their engagement.

Fitzgerald then moved back to Minnesota. A year later he became a famous writer. He moved to Connecticut, Zelda married him, and they became drunken celebrity wrecks.

They spent a lot of time in Europe. This lasted until Zelda went mad and Fitzgerald died.

Fitzgerald is best remembered for having said the rich were different, even though Hemingway made fun of him.

Oh yeah, he also wrote several books.

September 24, 1946 -
Charles Edward Greene, known as "Mean Joe" Greene, is a former all-pro American football defensive tackle who played for the Pittsburgh Steelers of the NFL was born on this date.

He is considered by many to be one of the best defensive lineman to ever play the game and was the cornerstone of the famous "Steel Curtain" defense.

September 24, 1964 -
We all visited 1313 Mockingbird Lane for the first time when The Munsters premieres on TV on this date.

After his death, it was reveal that Al Lewis was only a year older that Yvonne De Carlo and had added 11 years to land the role of Grandpa Munster.

September 24, 1991
Theodor Seuss Geisel, an American writer and cartoonist best known for his classic children's books under the pen name Dr. Seuss, including The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish died on this date. No greater tribute was given to the Doctor than when the Reverend Jesse Jackson appeared on SNL following his death -

(sorry but youtube disabled the clip)

And so it goes

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

This commercial is so cute

it'll probably causes diabetes.

My kids squeal when they see the little legs twitch.

September 23, 1962 -
The Jetsons debuted on Sunday night's prime time lineup.

This cartoon series marked the debut of color television on the ABC network.

The youth of America want to know, "Don't they use a pooper scoop in the future?"

Here's your Today in History -
September 23, 480 BC -
It's the birthday of the Greek poet Euripides, born near Athens on this date.

Of the poets of Greek tragedy whose plays we know, Euripides' survive in the greatest number—19 of them—including Medea.

Remember Euripides, I ripa dos.

September 23, 63 BC -
Augusts Caesar was born on this day. The first real Roman Emperor, Caesar introduced the famous Pax Romana. This was a political policy which stated that any country which did not object to being conquered by Rome would be conquered by Rome.

Countries not wishing to be conquered by Rome stood in violation of this policy, and were therefore invaded until they agreed to be conquered. This ensured peace throughout the world.

September 23, 1939 -
Sigmund Freud commits suicide with the help of his personal physician, Max Schur. The good doctor obligingly administered 21mg of morphine -- a lethal dose.

Sometimes 21 mg of morphine is just 21mg of death.

September 23, 1944 -
Frank Capra's screwball comedy, Arsenic and Old Lace finally gets it US general release on this date. The film was based on a hit play and had to wait to be released until after it Broadway run had ended.

Cary Grant's famous phrase at the end of the film declaring the secret of his birth was originally "I'm not a Brewster - I'm a bastard!" However, the censors demanded that it be changed, resulting in the phrase "I'm the son of a sea cook!"

September 23, 1949 -
It's the birthday of the Boss.

And no, not the fat man in the Bronx.

September 23, 1950 -
Congress passes the McCarran Act, also known as The Internal Security Act of 1950, overriding Harry Truman's veto. The act provides for severe restrictions on civil liberties, suspension of free speech, and placing of undesirable Americans in concentration camps.

Much of the Act has been repealed, but some portions remain intact. So watch it, bub.

September 23, 1952 -
Responding to accusations that he diverted $18,000 in contributions into his pocket, Senator Richard M. Nixon rescues his candidacy for Vice President by insisting that he had never accepted any money.

Although Nixon does admit he accepted a cocker spaniel named Checkers for his daughter Tricia. The televised monologue rescues his political career.

Little is know about this political operative, Checkers. Recently unclassified FBI documents reveal that Checker advised Nixon not to shave just prior to his famous televised debate with Kennedy. Checkers was also recorded on his deathbed in late '68 advising Nixon's men about creating a list of enemies of the future President.

September 23, 1969 -
An article in the Northern Illinois University student newspaper The Northern Star propagates the rumor that "Paul is dead."

But if you play "I'm so Tired" from the White Album, you hear the question "Is Paul McCartney Dead?" And "Revolution #9" implores, "Turn me on dead man."

Well, sort of. Remember it's "I buried Paul" and not "Strawberry Jam"

September 23, 1969 -
First broadcast of 'Marcus Welby MD' on ABC-TV.

Robert Young became so well identified with his wise doctor persona that he became famous as the commercial spokesman for an aspirin product, saying, "I'm not a doctor but I play one on TV", while wearing a lab coat. All those free aspirin must have been a great help to Mr. Young, who was a raging alcoholic by this time.

And so it goes

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I can't get it out of my head

I have no idea why this song keeps running through my brain

So, to very badly paraphrase Oscar Wilde - get rid of the damn song by yielding to it.

September 22, 1961 -
Scott Baio, actor and former studmuffin was born on this date.

Rumor has it that he can achieve the Viagra warning without taking the drug, making him the house maids and Hollywood starlets delight..

September 22, 1957 -
The comedy-western series Maverick, premiered on ABC-TV on this date .

On April 21, 2006, a ten-foot tall bronze statue of James Garner as Bret Maverick was unveiled in Garner's hometown of Norman, Oklahoma

September 22, 1964 -
Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, who kept the world safe on The Man from U.N.C.L.E, made their first appearance on NBC-TV on this date.

Everybody knows that U.N.C.L.E. stands for the United Network Command for Law Enforcement. Anybody remember what their archenemy THRUSH stood for - anybody?

Technological Hierarchy for the Removal of Undesirables and the Subjugation of Humanity - that's a mouthful.

Today is the first day of autumn.
By happy coincidence, it's also the first day of fall.

Many people in the northern hemisphere are disturbed by the changes they see around them at about this time each year. It gets darker earlier, temperatures drop, leaves change color and die, and the Red Soxes tend to drop out of playoff contention.

There have been myths about the changing of the seasons as long as there have been children to lie to. Some primitive peoples believed that leaves changed color because Nature was pining for her abducted daughter; others blamed it on the seasonal absence of sunlight-fed chlorophyll, allowing xanthophyll, carotene, and antocyanin to determine leaf color. We may never know the truth.

The first day of autumn is sometimes also referred to as the "Autumnal Equinox." Don't be alarmed by the title. It's just fall.

We can get through this thing.

Today in History:
September 22, 1761 -
George III and Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz are crowned King and Queen of the Great Britain.. Which is funny because George was not British. He was German. He had been Elector of Hanover. (Although he was the first King of England in a very long time the spoke English as his first language, if at all.)

But he ends his days, completely blind, increasingly deaf and totally insane locked up in Windsor Castle, with his son acting as Regent for the remainder of George III's life.

I've said it before - sometimes it's not so good to be King.

September 22, 1869 -
Richard Wagner's opera Das Rheingold premieres in Munich.

Beer drinkers around the world rejoice!!!

September 22, 1980 -
In a stunning blow to America's feminine hygiene, consumer products manufacturer Procter & Gamble initiates the largest tampon recall in history, pulling Rely Tampons from store shelves.

The action results from the ongoing Toxic Shock Syndrome controversy.

No comment.

And so it goes

Monday, September 21, 2009

Here's a dollar, buy a clue

David, you're being shown the door

Take the advice.

Today in History
September 21, 1327 -
Former King Edward II had a particularly painful end on this date.

Edward had been overthrown by his wife, Isabella and her lover, Roger Mortimer. Edward had pissed off Isabella royally for among other things, sleeping with men. Isabella and Mortimer had Edward II imprisoned, after his abdication in favor of his son, Edward III.

It was rumored that Edward had been killed by the insertion of a piece of copper into his rectum (later a red-hot iron rod, as in the supposed murder of Edmund Ironside - King Edmund II was murdered in a lavatory; stabbed in the bowels when he sat down to relieve himself). Murder in this manner would have appeared a natural death, as a metal tube would have been inserted into the anus first, thus allowing the iron rod to penetrate the entrails without leaving a burn on the buttocks.

As I have said in the past, sometimes it is NOT good to be the king.

September 21, 1897 -
The New York Sun ran its famous editorial that answered a question from 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon: ``Is there a Santa Claus?''

Obviously, times were different back then given that The New York Sun was printing an editorial about Christmas in September.

September 21, 1915 -
With a winning bid of £6,600, Mr. Cecil Chubb purchases Stonehenge and 30 acres of land at auction. He donates the monument to the British state three years later.

He donated the monument because he could not reset Stonehenge correctly.

September 21 1957 -
'Perry Mason' with Raymond Burr premieres on CBS-TV .

Godzilla, Perry Mason, Ironside, spokesmodel and owner of 'Raymond Burr Nipple Rouge' - what couldn't he do?

September 21 1975 -
Self-proclaimed revolutionary Sara Jane Moore attempted to kill President Gerald Ford as he walked from a San Francisco hotel.

A bullet she fired slightly wounded a man in the crowd .

September 21 1983 -
Ronald Reagan's Secretary of the Interior, James Watt, describes his staff's racial diversity to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: "We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple. And we have talent."

Watt is forced to resign 18 days later over these comments.

Ans so it goes.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The last Sunday of Summer

Get out there and enjoy it (or stay inside and enjoy it.)

Today in History
September 20 1946 -
The first Cannes film festival, the first great international cultural event of the post-war period, begins on this date. AMong the selections that year were:

BRIEF ENCOUNTER directed by David LEAN


GASLIGHT directed by George CUKOR



THE LOST WEEK-END directed by Billy WILDER

September 20 1970 -
A jury in Miami, Florida finds vocalist Jim Morrison guilty of profanity and indecent exposure for whipping out his mojo at a Doors concert in Coconut Grove the previous year.

Oh you naughty Mr. Mojo Rising ...

September 20, 1973 -
A Beechcraft D-18 charter plane crashes into a tree near Natchitoches, Louisiana, killing singer/songwriter Jim Croce, his lead guitarist, and the entire flight crew.

I guess if he could have put time in a bottle, the first real thing he would have done would be chartering a different plane.

September 20, 1973 -
On the same day, in their so-called 'Battle of the Sexes,' tennis star Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in straight sets, 6-4, 6-3, 6-3, at the Houston Astrodome .

In recent years, a persistent urban legend has arisen, particularly on the Internet, that the rules were modified for the match so that Riggs had only one serve for King's two, and that King was allowed to hit into the doubles court area. This is false: the match was played under the normal rules of tennis.

September 20, 1975 -
David Bowie's "Fame," single goes #1 for 2 weeks

Is it any wonder you are too cool to fool

September 20 1984 -
Claire and Cliff Huxtable move into their award winning show 'Cosby Show' on NBC-TV on this date.

The Cosby Show is one of only three American programs that have been #1 in the Nielsen Ratings for five consecutive seasons, along with All in the Family and American Idol.

September 20, 1988 -
Greg Louganis wins the gold medal in springboard diving at the Summer Olympics in Seoul, one day after he struck and injured his head on the board in the preliminary round.

His comeback earned him the title of ABC's Wide World of Sports "Athlete of the Year" for 1988.

And so it goes

Saturday, September 19, 2009

R me buckos

It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day. ITLAPDis a parody holiday invented in 1995 by John Baur (Ol' Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap'n Slappy), of Corvallis, Oregon, who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate. For example, an observer of this holiday would greet friends not with "Hello," but with "Ahoy, me hearty!" The holiday, and its observance, springs from a romanticized view of the Golden Age of Piracy.

Now back to Today's history -
September 19, 1692 -
Giles Corey was accused of witchcraft in 1692. This put him in a difficult spot. If he pleaded guilty, he'd be burned alive at the stake. If he pleaded not guilty, he'd have to take a lie-detector test.

The state-of-the-art lie detector of 1692 wasn't any less accurate than today's models, but it was significantly rougher on its subjects. It was called "dunking." The tightly bound subject would be dunked repeatedly into a pond or lake until the truth emerged.

One of the primary symptoms of demonic possession was immunity to water, so those who survived the process were rewarded with a warm, dry burning at the stake. Those who drowned, on the other hand, were clearly innocent and received a favorable ruling.

Giles Corey wasn't eager to be burned at the stake, but he wasn't keen on posthumous vindication, either. A plea of guilty meant the stake; a plea of not-guilty meant drowning (or the stake, depending on the results of the lie-detector test). Mr. Corey therefore did what any reasonable person might have done: he claimed his Fifth
Amendment rights under the Constitution and said nothing.

This was a foolish and costly blunder, as the Constitution had not yet been invented.

Baffled by the accused's refusal to enter a plea, the court pressed him for an answer. Literally. Giles Corey became the first, last, and only American ever to have been pressed to death by his own government, on this date in history.

September 19, 1931 -
Adolf Hitler's 23-year-old half niece, Geli Raubal, is found dead in her uncle's Munich apartment from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest.

Some allege that she and Adolf had a sexual relationship, which involved Geli urinating on him. Hitler conveniently happens to be out of town at the time of the shooting.

Oh that Hitler, what a wacky Fuhrer.

September 19, 1934 -
Bruno Hauptmann is arrested for the kidnap-murder of the Lindbergh baby.

We aren't sure if he did it, but he did have $11,000 of the ransom money.

They fry him two years later.

September 19, 1947 -
The U.S. conducted its first underground nuclear test in the Nevada desert. This caused a major disturbance in the natural order of the fragile desert eco-system, ultimately resulting in Las Vegas

and giant spiders

and ants

September 19 1959 -
In a Cold War setback, Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev is annoyed to learn that he will not be permitted to visit Disneyland, due to concerns for his personal safety.

This mean, most of the cold war could have been prevented, if we let that fat bald premier ride the freakin' teacups.

September 19 1961 -
Betty (Estelle Parsons) and Barney (James Earl Jones) Hill are picked up near Indian Head, New Hampshire and anally probed by five beings in a flying saucer. The couple later describes the craft as being "banana-like, with pointed tips and windows."

Anyway, that's what Barney told Betty what happened.

September 19 1991 -
A body was found frozen in a glacier in the Alps between Austria and Italy. A German tourist found the body and called the Austrian police. They tried to free the body from the ice with a jackhammer. It was only when an anthropologist showed up to examine the body that they realized it was a very, very old corpse—5,300 years old, in fact — of a man between 25 and 35 years old. He was five feet, two inches tall, with hair about three inches long. He had tattoos. He wore an unlined fur robe, a woven grass cape, and size six shoes stuffed with grass for warmth.

He came to be called Ötzi the Iceman, and what made him such a remarkable discovery for anthropologists was the fact that he died while he was out walking on an ordinary day wearing ordinary clothing. He carried a copper axe and a fur quiver for his arrows, the only quiver from the Neolithic period that has ever been found. His arrows had sharp flint points and feathers that were affixed at an angle that would cause the arrows to spin. And he carried mushrooms in his bag that scientists speculate were used for medicine.

It was not until ten years later that a forensics expert noticed in an x-ray that the Iceman had an arrowhead lodged in his back. He had been murdered.

Who murdered the Iceman. Stay tuned to CSI Austria on your local CBS networks.

September19 1995 -
The New York Times and the Washington Post publish the Unabomber's rambling, 35,000-word anti-technology screed, "Industrial Society And Its Future."

In exchange, he promises to halt his bombing campaign.

And so it goes

Friday, September 18, 2009

No he didn't say 'Plucking them chickens.'

Yeah, he really did say what you think he said.

I'm guessing Ernie will be happy working on that weekend desk.

Today in History:
On September 18, 1793, President George Washington laid the foundation stone for the U.S. Capitol. According to numerous sources, President Washington "laid the stone in a Masonic ceremony... preceded by a parade and followed by celebration and feasting."

(I am troubled by such deviant sexual behavior on the part of our founding father. I am surprised by our young nation's apparent celebration of his bizarre geological fetish. I therefore endorse a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting federal representatives from engaging in sexual relations with rocks.)

The 1792 competition for the design of the Capitol had been won by an amateur architect, and the building was therefore burned by the British before it could be completed. Congress had moved into the building on November 22, 1800, but managed to escape the fire.

On September 18, 1830, the first locomotive ever built in the U.S., the "Tom Thumb," lost a nine-mile race to a horse.

September 18, 1932 -
24-year-old starlet Peg Entwhistle dives head first from the letter "H" of the HOLLYWOODLAND sign in Los Angeles. She is the first person to commit suicide at the landmark.

Her body was discovered in the brush at the base of the hill two days later, and pronounced dead. When police examined her belongings, in her purse they found a note that read:

"I am afraid, I am a coward. I am sorry for everything. If I had done this a long time ago, it would have saved a lot of pain. P.E."

Two days later, in an ironic twist, Entwistle's uncle opened a letter addressed to her from the Beverly Hills Playhouse; it was mailed the day before she jumped. In it was an offer for her to play the lead role in a stage production—in which her character would commit suicide in the final act.

September 18, 1970 -
A sleeping Jimi Hendrix dies in London from of a barbituate overdose when chunks of vomited tuna sandwich wind up in his lungs, causing him to choke. He was 27 years old.

Kids, if you plan on taking barbituates before bedtime, NO late night snacks.

And remember Mama Cass did not choke to death on a ham sandwich. It is an urban myth born out of a quickly discarded speculation by the coroner, who noted a part eaten ham sandwich and figured she may have choked to death. In fact, she died of heart failure.

So cut it out.

September 18, 1979 -
NBC television premieres The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, a spinoff of BJ and the Bear.

Claude Akins stars as Elroy P. Lobo, the slightly corrupt sheriff of Orly County, who faces his first misadventure in "The Day That Shark Ate Lobo."

Don't you wish you were at that pitch meeting.

September 18, 1992 -
Two weeks after being outed in the New York weekly QW, attorney John Schlafly admits in an interview with the San Francisco Examiner that he enjoys the love that dare not speak it's name. This causes a certain amount of consternation for his mother, archconservative gay rights opponent Phyllis Schlafly.

The Schlafly family have yet to fulfill their obligation as good Christians to present their rebellious son to the town elders and have him stoned to death as instructed in Deut. 21:18.

September 18, 1994 -
Vitas Gerulaitis is killed in his sleep in the guest cottage of a friend's Long Island estate. The professional tennis player dies from carbon monoxide poisoning, caused by a faulty propane swimming-pool heater.

How many more people must die from killer swimming pools?

Hey kids, tonight is the beginning of Rosh Hashanah, Happy 5770 - party like it's 5769.

And so it goes